close your mouth and be gorgeous, I have a book

So, I have a book. I have a book!!! Holy crap, I have a book. It is a book in a book. Some people call it an anthology, but I think an anthology has some sort of common thread running through, so I'm calling it a book in a book. That was boring. But I still have a book. With four super-awesome other girl writers, and that might be the common thread that makes it an anthology. Womanthology? That is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have said today and it was not a MENSA day.

It is called Shut Up/Look Pretty and it is called Things About Me and You and I've probably mentioned it, like, 100 billion times or maybe five. And the reason I am mentioning it again is because I have it. I am looking at this book with my name on it right this second. It is sort of weird. I didn't think I would have a book. Did you? I mean, really. I am very lucky. I even have a story in it called I Am Very Lucky. And I am.

Except I'm sort of not the luckiest person on earth. Or in Oakland. Or in my tiny apartment building. I still have no voice. I know, right? What is up with the losing the voice? I like talking very much. So, I'm going back to my ENT who wears the shiny mirror thing on his head and calls me a gal. I like him very much. For real. If you need an ENT in the Bay Area, hit me up. I am scared I have permanent damage to my vocal chords or something and that would suck. A lot.

I do not only have laryngitis with this gnarly upper respiratory infection. I am getting weird rashes. And my fingers sometimes hurt a lot. The internet is a bad thing when you have symptoms of ... things. Boring TMI story short, I broke down and got the antibiotics. And I am getting better. BUT, I woke up this morning and my stomach hurt a lot and I started coughing and it almost made me hurl. Gross. I am totally TMI tonight. So I took a no hurling pill my doctor prescribed when I was hurling for no good reason and the security guys at work kept calling ambulances, which was quite excessive, if you ask me. Then I went back to sleep.

And I don't want to talk about it. That much. But I had the most vivid dream that my apartment was broken into again with me here and it was the longest dream in the history of dreams and when I woke up and it wasn't real, I was not entirely convinced it wasn't real. Except I ran quite a bit in the dream and I don't run unless I'm being chased. Which I wasn't. OMG, are you still here? For real? You really need to be doing something else. As do I. I am going to sleep. And I am not taking those hurl pills again.

That is all. Please go do something productive with your lives. Tell me all about it. It would be instructional.