a great miracle did not happen

Sometimes I feel guilty when I didn't do anything. Like last night. My friend and I went to this bar near my house. The same one where my wallet got stolen. And something else was stolen. By him. He stole the dreidel.

He's not Jewish. He doesn't feel guilty about stuff he didn't do, I don't think. So, for whatever reason, some guy brings in a menorah and a dreidel. Which, if you don't know what it is, it's a little spinning top with Hebrew letters on all sides. They stand for "a great miracle happened there" or "here". I don't remember. Hebrew school was a long time ago. Anyway, this guy and some other people were using the dreidel for a drinking game, which I don't think the Jews who did all the fighting and stuff would be totally happy about. Ok, yes, I played a few rounds. They played a lot of rounds.

So, we're leaving and my friend says he wants to steal the dreidel. And he did. And the drunk people were like, where's the dreidel? As if drinking was an unsanctioned activity without a symbol we sang of in kindergarten. And the bartender points at us and says they had it. Or something like that. And we left.

My friend fell asleep on my couch. Before that, I chastised him a number of times for stealing the dreidel. I felt guilty, especially with the bartender girl pointing at us like criminals. Ok, he was a criminal. But I was the victim of a theft of a wallet with money and credit cards in it that were used and they didn't seem to care too much about that. But, I am Jewish (higher propensity for guilt, bigger noses) and these were two separate incidents. So he leaves this morning and ... he did not take the dreidel with him. So, here's this thing accusing me like the bartender. And I can't throw it out and I can't return it to the bar. I can give it back to my evil friend and he can deal with the fact that he stole something that reminds me of my innocent childhood. As I write this, I am growing more indignant. He's getting a faceful of dreidel next time I see him.

In other news, I am very fat. I have gained some weight. Probably because of all the stress of the attempted break-in and my obsession with competitive cooking shows. Likely added to by the fact that Trader Joe's now offers its seasonal treat, Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread, which is pretty much the best food ever. I feel gross. I should start watching tv shows with really skinny 19 year-olds. But that might make me feel grosser. And I would miss Top Chef. And Iron Chef. And Chopped. I can't wait for the next season of Hell's Kitchen.

Life is complicated.