time is mean

An editor once sent me that as an apology, along with a rejection of a story submission. It's ok. He's a good guy and the story ended up exactly where it should and time is mean.

Here are some ways in which time is kind of a tremendous ass:

1. I got sick and my journal is behind schedule and there are writers who are waiting to see their wonderful work and have people read it and I need to make that happen.

2. It's the end of the month and I do this job where the end of the month matters in a way that is not enjoyable in any way.

3. It is turning cold and it was just warm and this will be my second winter in this apartment that is very cute and well-located and my rent is ridiculously low for those things but there is pretty much no insulation in the walls and floors and I have those old-fashioned louvered windows that leave about an inch of space for cold air to come in and make me very cold. That was the longest sentence I have ever written. Anyway, I found out about this saran wrap-like stuff that you put on your windows and use your blow dryer to seal it and it keeps all the cold out. And I'm going to get some of this stuff and buy two more space heaters. Because I don't want to wear sweaters and fuzzy slippers and too many blankets to bed this winter. I am next to one of these windows now. I need to get ready for the cold.

4. It's late and I should get to work early tomorrow but I don't want to go to sleep. There are things in my head.

5. A friend of mine wrote me an email about some terrible things he is dealing with and some funny things and I read it again and I wish he didn't have to deal with those terrible things, especially all at once.

6. My phone stopped receiving text messages two or more days ago. I know about some of the messages I missed. The phone people are sending me a new updated phone because it's some software error. Meanwhile, I hope people don't think I'm ignoring them. I won't be text-able until Friday or Saturday. Nobody likes to talk anymore. Including me.

7. A bunch of other stuff.

Today, four people called me beautiful. One doesn't count because he doesn't. One was being very sweet. The other two have only seen pictures so they don't really know. I would like to meet a person who knows how to take compliments and even believe them and I want them to teach me. I don't really. Really I want people to not say those things. Or maybe the first thing. I don't know.