you are formally invited to read this text

So, this friend of mine received a text from her ex, telling her he finished his Ph.D. in physics, was going to Oxford for his post doc, and wanted to say a "proper good-bye." She said she would go to DINNER ONLY. By text, of course. So he keeps texting and she keeps putting him off, and finally, he thinks he's being all sneaky by suggesting that they meet at her house for that proper good-bye. She says no, and he calls her a lesbian. In Spanish. (He's from one of those countries where they speak that.)

That's all I've got because I'M GOING TO BED AT A REASONABLE HOUR!!!! And I ate three semi-normal meals today. And I kept it all down. And I sat in the enormous beanbag and watched Master Chef. I plan on sleeping hard tonight. Buenos noches to all, whatever your sexual orientation may be.