I love e-mail. I am obsessed with e-mail. I love e-mail so much I want to marry it. If e-mail is already married, I want to have an affair with it. If it is too ethical for an affair, we will be BFF.
I was in a meeting today and didn't check my beloved e-mail for around 3 hours. I felt all tingly and warm when I logged in. Naturally, I could not get onto the Internet. It took about 25 minutes. Oh, magnificent anticipation. I would have many, many fabulous e-mails from friends, magazines rejecting my writing, companies rejecting my job applications and more.
But my husband, lover and/or best friend let me down. Nothing but stupid e-mails from stupid job sites and stupid organizations. I was gypped. I was swindled. I was let down. By e-mail.
I adore you, e-mail. You know I will never leave you. How can you be so cruel?